I'm so confused with my life now. Sometimes certain steps that I take are just mistakes. Where am I heading? What exactly do I want? I have no idea. Am I just living for the sake of living and going on with life aimlessly?

On a brighter note, I have proceeded on to do most of the things I always wanted to do. I feel satisfied and maybe get a little more brightened up at times. Because I've done it and they make my day.

Recently, I kept dreaming of my granddad.. Unfortunately, they are all bad dreams.. Good thing that I can see him in my dreams.. But bad thing - it is a nightmare... I don't understand why. How I wish me myself can understand my dream too.

Whenever I'm outside, every old man out there just reminds me of you. Makes me feel like seeing you so much. And when I know I can't, I just miss you that much. Sometimes I think I should choose to not believe that you're dead.

I'm kind of looking forward to the end of 2010. Because my year 2010 sucks, big time. But I'm also worried that 2011 will be worse. Sigh... Life...